Genesis
by Nemescyst
Summary: You hate others because they have what you want.
1. Chapter 1

Like everything else, it was a coincidence that started it all.

Just a coincidence that he decided to walk home with Rukia one day. Just a coincidence that Rukia discovered that she had mistakenly taken Renji's exercise books and asked him to return them.

Just a coincidence that he discovered Renji fucking Aizen's Sexta Espada, Grimmjaw Jeagerjacques.

* * *

He hadn't thought anything of it, really. A sudden –if rather small- and familiar burst of reiatsu had him sprinting for the apartment, sure that Renji was getting murdered. He remembered the reiatsu, swirling and heady and thick around him, almost choking him during his first fight against the Espada.

Instead, he discovered, all at once, the answer to three questions that had been puzzling him – Renji's sudden insistence on staying in Karakura after Grimmjaw briefly appeared one day, his insistence on staying in an apartment all by himself, and his sudden seclusion as well as the mysterious injuries that Ichigo accidentally saw one day after busting into Renji's room uninvited. He always thought they looked suspicious but trusted that Renji was doing nothing wrong.

How wrong he was.

The both of them, tangled and caught in lust, never noticed him. He, on his part, had no desire to alert them to his presence. But the image was seared into his brain, even after he left – Renji sprawled on the bed underneath Grimmjaw, moaning as Grimmjaw fucked him roughly.

He was not disturbed –not too much, at any rate- about the tightness in his pants. It was unavoidable.

Later that night, in a meeting at his house, he noticed Renji was wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck and jeans. He also noticed that he seemed more depressed than ever, drinking himself drunk on the sake that Matsumoto had brought. What troubled him was Renji's slightly drunken announcement, declaring proudly –and a bit desperately, Ichigo thought- about his undying love to Rukia.

But twisted him up inside was the _hate _that blossomed when he closed his eyes at night and saw the same image again.

* * *

The episodes continued, brief and far in between, but continued nonetheless. Ichigo was alternately angry and frustrated with Renji –angry at his involvement with the Espada, and frustrated at his inability to end the relationship. He couldn't do anything himself, not without serious injury to Renji's pride and his friends trust. What disturbed him even more was Renji's desperate attachment to Rukia. He loved her –he really did, Ichigo could see that, which made it all the more the worst. Rukia was blissfully unaware of the complications, basking happily in the joy of loving and being loved.

Finally, he decided that it had to stop. Renji wouldn't –couldn't- stop it, so he would.

He would kill Grimmjaw Jeagerjacques.

* * *

Of course, it was easier said than done. Oh, he tried –God knows he tried- but he was always too weak, too slow, too little of everything to beat the arrogant Espada. It tore him up inside and made him hate himself, not just because he wanted -needed- to kill him to save Renji and Rukia and everyone else, not just because he was weak…

Because of the undeniable attraction he felt towards the Espada.

Grimmjaw was extremely, undeniably attractive, and he looked even better painted with blood that was most often drawn from Ichigo's blade. This, in itself, was a motivation that made Ichigo want to tear him up, and it made him feel dirty and sick.

He didn't need more guilt, not now.

* * *

Things seemed to explode when Inoue was kidnapped. Ichigo watched with hidden relief at Renji's unmistakable anger, fuelled by Rukia's numerous injuries. Anger that was fed by the fact that the Sexta Espada had taken part in the events that had led to it.

Inoue, traveling back to the human world from Soul Society with Rukia, had been accosted by Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra had promptly 'disabled' Rukia and kidnapped Orihime, leaving Rukia bleeding and broken. She had almost died from her injuries and was kept in the fourth division's ICU for many days before stabilizing.

What angered Renji, Ichigo knew, was the fact that he should –was supposed to have been with Rukia and Inoue. But hearing that the Sexta Espada was on Earth, he had traveled ahead and left them behind, eager to see the Espada. He would probably regret it for a very long time, even as Rukia's injuries healed and the scars faded. Needless to say, his relationship with Grimmjaw was instantly terminated.

Ichigo couldn't decide if he was relieved or angry. The guilt pressed down on his soul even more.

* * *

His mind whirled as Grimmjaw pressed his against the wall, his body hot and hard against Ichigo's. _"I know," _he whispered roughly into Ichigo's ear. "Did you think all those times I was fucking that _boy_, that I did not know you were there?" Ichigo moans as Grimmjaw grinds his hips against him. "Did you enjoy the show?"

Ichigo opens his mouth to protest, and almost chokes when a tongue is shoved roughly down his throat. Hands all over his body, scratching and feeling, leaving red trails in their wake.

But when a hand strays down too far, he snaps. He grabs the Espada's throat and pushes him off.

"No," he rasps, aware that it all is a lie. But he will not –he will _not_- make the same mistake as Renji.

Grimmjaw grins –leers- through bloodied lips, and Ichigo finds himself wondering if he caused that. "Whatever you say, _shinigami_," he says, and all Ichigo can hear is the blood pounding through his veins as he attacks and attacks the Espada, pushing all other thoughts out of his mind while cruel laughter rang in his ears.

* * *

He jerked himself off that night, painfully hard after the fight. All he could think off was the man's lips against his own and the callused hands straying over his body.

_Aibou, _the hollow whispered playfully in his head. _Aibou, aibou. What have you done to yourself?_

_Shut up._

He gasped as he jerked on himself, felt the hot liquid spurt on his hand as he saw icy eyes and cerulean hair flash behind his eyelids.

_Aibou, _the hollow whispered playfully, slyly, teasingly. _You are so fucked up. Dreaming of the man who help kidnap your best friend and almost killed another, dreaming of the man who screwed your best friend-_

_**Shut up!**_

_Aibou, aibou, aibou__**, **_the hollow sighed, his teeth gleaming white. _You should just die._

* * *

The words stayed in his head.

_You should just _die_._

For what he was thinking, maybe he should. But he couldn't die yet. Somewhere inside the white fortress ahead of them, far away over the gleaming ivory sands, Inoue was waiting. He could feel Renji tensing beside him; feel Rukia's fierce determination.

Somewhere out there, a person with blue hair and cerulean eyes was waiting, a maniacal smile on his face.

* * *

A.N- Obviously, I have manipulated parts of the story. Rukia did not follow Inoue back to Karakura during the Espada siege, she went separately. The idea is that Renji, Rukia and Orihime were all in Soul Society, but when Renji heard of the attack he rushed ahead and left the both of them behind to be K.O'd by Ulquiorra.

Review, please. Should I continue this?


	2. Chapter 2

The Sexta Espada was seriously pissed.

The shinigami brat and his friends had just busted into Hueco Mundo, and Aizen-_sama_ wouldn't allow him to go after them. He would gladly castrate the ex-shinigami captain if he had the chance, but he could wait. Everything else could wait. What mattered now was Kurosaki.

Oh, he'd had his fun with the red-hair tatooed boy -what his name was Grimmjaw could not recall- but it was _the_ shinigami he was after. He'd never really thought of Kurosaki before until that night when he'd felt the familiar reiatsu lurking outside the window. It had lurked there until he was done with the boy, then disappeared in a flash when he turned to look at the window. He could smell the boy, the scent of sweat and raw power and pure disbelief. And mixed in somewhere, whether he acknowledged it or not, was the musky, tantalizing smell of arousal.

What intrigued Grimmjaw was the fact that Kurosaki kept it a secret. He could easily have tattled to any of the numerous shinigami in Karakura or at the very least used it as blackmail, but no, he kept it to himself, valiantly protecting his _friend's _secret, acting like a hero. Grimmjaw wouldn't have cared less, the boy had just been a fucktoy, nothing else. But everytime they fought, he could see the fire burning in his eyes, and sometimes he could swear that he saw the corners of his eyes turning black. And he laughed, knowing that the boy was angry, that the boy was trying so damn hard to kill him.

And then there was the time he slammed the boy up against the wall, harder than he'd ever been in his life, and all he'd wanted to do was _take,_ to rip his clothes and fuck him raw, until Kurosaki's throat was hoarse from screaming his name. He'd tasted the boy, seen the fear -the darkness- lurking in his eyes, but at the same that, that fucking heroism burning still, and it made him angrier than anything else.

Grimmjaw wanted to tear that away, to strip him down and show him that they were no heroes, no knights in shining armor in real life. There were just liars and cheaters and people like Aizen who killed behind a mask of piety.

And there were people like Grimmjaw, who fought for the fun of it, to show that he was the strongest, to make himself stronger. Kurosaki was like that too, even if he didn't know it. But Grimmjaw had no doubt that one day, the boy would make a brilliant hollow.

But until then, he could wait. The shinigami was coming.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

AN- I'll explain. Inoue was severely injured in the fight and Ichigo was captured while everyone else escaped. So Aizen is using Inoue as leverage over Ichigo. Inoue is being kept in suspended animation while Syazel figures out how to heal her. OK?

Oh, and Stark is dead but Lilinette survived. I'll get to the trauma part later.

* * *

"Kurosaki-kun, I hope you will behave yourself. Inoue-san's recovery depends on it."

Ichigo scowled, staring down at his feet.

"As you are aware," Aizen continued, "Her injuries were rather extensive. I'm afraid that any sign of hostility on your part will only serve to delay her recovery."

"You mean that if I don't obey your shitty orders you won't heal Orihime," Ichigo snarled. "That's blackmail."

"I would prefer not to use such strong language, but yes, that is what I mean." Aizen leaned forward, smiling. "Have we reached an agreement?"

Ichigo kept quiet.

"Very well." Aizen sighed. "I will go over it one more time. You will stay here for an indefinite period of time in return for Inoue-san's health and her safe return to Karakura after she has been healed. You will conduct no hostilities against any or the Espada, although you may take appropriate measures in the event of any... unexpected conduct by any Espada or arrancar."

Ichigo felt the eyes burning into his back.

"As I believe many of the Espada are not kindly towards strangers, I will have someone escort you and guard you." Aizen beckoned to someone behind Ichigo. "Come, Lilinette."

A small girl came up to Aizen, her face emotionless. She looked blankly at Ichigo before shifting her gaze back to Aizen.

"Lilinette was the fraccion of the Primera Espada, Stark, who was..." Aizen paused thoughtfully, the girl twitched at the mention of Stark. "...is deceased. However, she is not without her ways, and I believe she will make sufficient protection against any difficulties you might face."

_Difficulties, my ass_, Ichigo thought sourly.

"You may leave, Kurosaki-kun. Please heed my warnings. Lilinette will answer any further questions that you have."

The girl walked ahead of him as he turned around, keeping his gaze on the white floor. Just before he reached the door, his arm was grabbed tightly and painfully and he was jerked off balance, stumbling.

"You are mine," Grimmjaw hissed into his ear. His grip tightened and Ichigo winced, convinced his arm would snap. "Don't you forget that, shinigami. And when I get the chance, I will fuck you into the ground."

Ichigo pushed against him, struggling, trying to break away, and failed miserably. Grimmjaw reached with his other hand and grabbed him around the throat, squeezing. Ichigo's vision swam as his air was cut off, and he sturggled harder, kicking, flailing. Suddenly, Grimmjaw's grip on him was wrenched off, and air flooded his lungs as he coughed violently, sure he would find blood on the floor if he ever stopped coughing.

He did stop, and there wasn't any blood on the floor. He heard a solid _thud_ and looked up.

Grimmjaw was snarling at Lilinette, who was standing a few feet away from him. Ichigo concluded that it was her who saved him and decided to thank her later. He was startled that such a frail-looking person was so strong.

"Don't touch him," the girl intoned tonelessly. _Ulquiorra's protege,_ Ichigo thought humorlessly. "Not if you have any violent intentions."

Grimmjaw just growled at her.

She turned around and looked straight at Ichigo. "Let's go."

They left the room, with Ichigo painfully aware of Aizen's amused stare and Grimmjaw's furious glare.

* * *

The days -nights- were long and boring and full of _fury _for Ichigo. He hated that he couldn't fight the Espada, that he was trapped here, that he had to_ hide _from the Sexta Espada, who was constantly prowling around. He didn't want to walk around with Lilinette all the time -the girl creeped him out- but when he walked by himself it was inviting trouble.

The only remaining Espada, in truth, were Grimmjaw, Ulquiorra, Szayel and Nel, who appeared to have been brainwashed. She had no recollection of Ichigo, and it made his chest hurt when he looked at her and saw the little child, wearing a potato sack. It was just one of many things that he held against Aizen.

He stayed away from Ulquiorra, and he was glad -somewhat- to observe that the Cuatro seemed satisfied to keep a healthy distance from him as well. Sometimes, however, he would feel curious eyes on his back, not angry or lustful like Grimmjaw's, just curious.

He was not keen on getting fucked into a wall, so he did his best. But sometimes at night he would wake up hot and hard, and he cursed the dreams that made him like that.

If he was honest with himself, he really did want to screw Grimmjaw. But doing that would give Grimmjaw an edge over him, something else for him to boast about, and that would not do. Plus he was not keen on the pain, which he was sure the espada would be happy to inflict on him.

He almost got him one day, when Ichigo had been dozing under the sun. He was just laying there, and suddenly he was flung into a wall, hard, and the espada was there and it was just like before, the rough kisses and the roaming hands, and oh _God_ how Ichigo had wanted to fuck him.

Grimmjaw had grabbed his cock and pumped it, biting down on Ichigo's neck and he moaned, wanting more, more, _more. _Then before he knew it one of those hands was on his ass, a finger pushing in roughly and Ichigo gasped as his muscles clamped down. Grimmjaw groaned then, whispering into Ichigo's ear. "You're so tight, Kurosaki. I'll fuck you raw till you don't know your own name, till you're hoarse from screaming mine-"

But then he felt Ulquiorra's reiatsu, coming towards them, and he suddenly realized what they were doing. He'd pushed Grimmjaw away and shunpo'ed back to Lilinette's room, where she looked at him oddly, briefly, before looking away.

He jerked himself off in the bathroom, feeling the slight soreness in his ass when Grimmjaw's fingers had been. His mind went blank as the pleasure flowed through him, leaving him feeling drained and dirty.


End file.
